I’m about seven days shy of two months since I started this blog and it’s been about a month since the last time I wrote. There’s a reason why: I lost motivation. I had a great result the last time I wrote, I had lost 9 pounds – but – since then, I haven’t lost anything. I haven’t gained anything, but, I haven’t seen the scale move at all. I’ve also been experiencing some depression. Not the kind where anyone needs to be particularly concerned – but – the kind that puts a bit of a fog over my life. Where good things are happening, and I can appreciate those things – but – for the most part, there’s this sense of “what am I doing here?” – I’m not usually very forthcoming about my feelings, but, in the spirit of finding wellness, I believe it’s about time I start talking about it.
I came to Kentucky as an attempt to “start over” – and I’ve had a lot of really great success here. I have an amazing job – that I love. I’m in an academic program in an area of study that I adore. I have wonderful, beautiful people in my life who I am lucky to call friends. My family is ridiculously supportive and loving. But, there’s always this sense of “yikes, did I make the right decision here?” – I’m not sure when I will stop feeling that from time to time, or if I ever will, but it tends to trip me up a little bit, even when I have all of these awesome things in my life. You know, graduate school is really hard, my job can sometimes be stressful, from time to time I’m a little homesick, and every now and then, it’s true: my day just sucks. So, yes – the little things – like not losing weight when I feel like I’m trying really hard – they sometimes become pervasive and make me feel down. I become very critical of myself, in many ways.
So, I’ve stumbled a little. But, I’m ready to keep moving forward. I have a LOT going on in my world right now between work, school, and life in general – and I work very hard to balance these things – to keep myself motivated, and most days are really, really great. Some days, though, I struggle – as I’m sure many of you can understand and have experienced yourselves. So, when you’re feeling kind of bummed, ready to just give up on your goals – what do you do to keep yourself looking forward?
I promise to do better about writing and keep you all updated – hopefully things will keep moving forward. 11 months til I’m 30. 😉